So its been a bad week mentally and physically. I’ve put myself through the whole range of emotions – despair, hopelessness, doubt, frustration, anger, fear, grief and apathy – its exhausting and while you’re in that mindset all you can see is the problem and it magnifies into something that becomes all encompassing and can become so difficult to get out of, that you eventually lapse into whats known as depression. I know this because I’ve been there. But it doesn’t have to be that way – you notice that I’ve written ‘I put myself’ through this, because I did – these emotions don’t just happen to you, you have to choose them – I let myself become the victim this week and the problem with that, is that it cuts you off from clear thought and searching for a solution. In my case by Thursday when I reached apathy and exhaustion – numbness – that is the point when I finally began to let go of the problem and once I did that then I opened the door to acceptance. I accepted that my situation is what my situation is. I then decided to take responsibility for the situation. Once you do that then you can pave the way for alternative types of thinking – solution based thinking.
When you’re in a bad space, solution based thinking is where you need to get to – it is a much more relaxed, open way of thinking, it allows you to be more objective, take the emotion out of a situation, it allows you to analyse the reality of the situation – pros and cons, the idea is that you can come out of it with an idea of how you’re going to fix the situation and what steps you can take to work towards that solution, what resources or help you might need to seek out – it allows you to move forward rather than being stuck in the same spot.
Justine Switalla posted this on FB on Thursday night…it was the perfect thing at the perfect time – I was in apathy and exhaustion, I couldn’t think any more – the perfect time to drop in a ‘subtle’ subconscious suggestion about getting back on track…
so, now that I’m back in positive land, what is the upshot? Well part of my wallowing involved thoughts around the fact that all of this stuff that I’ve had done this week only addresses symptoms – sure the cortisone might take the pain away from my hips, sure the laser treatment might fix up my hammies, but as soon as I start training again, isn’t it all just going to come back and I’ll be back to square one? That is the frustration of this – I’m only addressing symptoms…what is the root cause of this cascading nightmare?
If I can get to the root cause, then I can find a fix and if I can find a fix then it won’t happen again. That is where I want to be.
The conclusion that I have reached is that whilst my exercise technique and form is perfect (Aiden makes sure of that), structually i.e from a musculoskeletal perspective, I obviously have flaws – weaknesses or areas of misalignment that lifting heavy weights has simply exacerbated. I know my shoulders are incorrectly aligned, due to the many years of issues I’ve had with them. I know I have hyperextendable joints – a result of many years of gymnastics as a kid. I know my legs are very quad dominant – gynmastics, cycling and trekking are the probable culprits here. I have torn the ligaments of my left ankle and twisted or sprained it so many times thats its possible I over compensate with my right leg – who knows what that might do to my hips?
Thats what I believe the root cause to be. Therefore I’ve decided I need to seek out expert advice on musculoskeletal re-alignment.
So I’ve booked myself an appointment with Lindy Olsen’s trainer Greg Dolman for a bit of Body Talk - holistic energy and muscle balancing. I have exercises to fix my shoulders, but what about my hips and hammies? At the moment I don’t have any corrective exercises for those and that is what I want to find out from Greg.
If it means going right back to basics and 3 months of corrective muscle strengthening then so be it.
I’ll just have to get off the Pity Train at the intersection of Suck It Up and Move on and stay a while at Quitchur Bitchin’